I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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