It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
