You're so nebulous sometimes
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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