I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
