I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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