i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
