Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
