on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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