I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
