K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
