R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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