How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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