she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I cockslap morals
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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