paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Please, let me fuck your mom
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
