There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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