my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
