I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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