you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have feelings that need drinking.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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