kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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