My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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