Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
