now i know why i became what i already was.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Pants are for mortals
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
