She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
