Only a mothe r could love this liver
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
