Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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