eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
