I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
