He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
