Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
