Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize