Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
