We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
