after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
