I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
