K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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