Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
