Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
