you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
