Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
