Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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