I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
