I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
