my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
