On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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