I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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