Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
