your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
