The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
