Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
