walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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