So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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