lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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