is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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