i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
