I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
