Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
