he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
