1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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