At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
