Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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