Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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