And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
