Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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