I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was like eating out sand paper
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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