and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
