I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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