your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
