Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
